First-session conversation starters

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Twenty questions that work in a first conversation, and four that don't. One page, meant to be printed and folded into a pocket.

Before you start

The first ten minutes are the hardest part for both of you. Your job is not to teach. Your job is to be easy to talk to.

Slow your own speech slightly. Do not raise your voice — hearing was never the issue. Leave longer pauses than feel natural, and count to five in your head before you fill one.

Twenty that work

  1. What did you do this morning?
  2. Who lives with you?
  3. What's the best food near here?
  4. How do you get to work?
  5. What's your job like on a busy day?
  6. What's something you fixed recently?
  7. Where did you grow up? What was the weather like there?
  8. What do you do on a day off?
  9. What's a song you like right now?
  10. Do you cook? What do you make best?
  11. What was hard about this week?
  12. What's a place near here you haven't been but want to go?
  13. Who do you call when something goes wrong?
  14. What do you want to say in English but can't yet?
  15. What's a phone call you're putting off?
  16. Tell me about someone in your family.
  17. What did you want to be when you were a kid?
  18. What's something people get wrong about your job?
  19. What are you good at?
  20. What should we practice next week?

Number 14 is the most useful question on this list. Ask it in the first session, then build the next few sessions around the answer.

Four to skip

"Where are you from?" as an opener. It's fine later, and it's a fine question between people who know each other. In minute one it sorts a person into a category before you know them.

Anything about immigration status, visas, or paperwork. Not our business, not relevant, and not a question we ever ask. If a learner raises it themselves, listen, don't advise, and let a program lead know they may want a referral to a legal-services organization.

"Do you like it here better?" There's no good way to answer that.

Correcting every mistake. Correct what blocks understanding. Let the rest go. A person who is corrected nine times in a sentence stops making sentences.

When a conversation stalls

Say so plainly and cheerfully — "okay, new topic" — and go to the list. Stalling is normal and it is not a sign that the match is wrong.

Free to use, copy, and adapt for your students.